Infinitive Splitter

According to NME, Oasis’ next single will be “Acquiesce,” a track they originally released 11 years ago! It was a b-side for “Some Might Say,” the seventh song on 1994’s (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?, which came out when even Liam Gallagher was still in short pants.

Since then, the band — which at that point had released two albums — have put out four albums, a two-disc live CD/DVD (on which “Acquiesce” was the sixth track), and a compilation of b-sides, (on which it was the first).

It’ll still be their best song to come out in years, since the last three albums — Standing on the Shoulder of Giants, Heathen Chemistry, and Don’t Believe the Truth — have been pretty forgettable, but retirement becomes an option at some point, right?

Or have Oasis been covering “Hey Hey, My My” for so long that they’ve stopped paying attention to the words?

This is so disappointing. The Washington Post has a page-one story today about the “uproar” over the new Facebook Feed. The quotes betray some outrageous naivete:

“I don’t like it because it’s kind of stalker-ish,” said Yan Fu, a freshman at George Washington University, adding that he now thinks twice before posting to his page. “I think, ‘Everybody can read it,’ so I’ve avoided it.”

Good! You should have been thinking that all along!

“It’s really creepy,” said Jenny Myers, who graduated this year from American University and works in Washington. “I think it’s absolutely ridiculous, putting people’s information out there, even small things.”

It was already out there! Big things and small things!

If you post information about yourself on the internet, it’s out there. These idiots owe Facebook a load of thanks for the reminder.

I checked in on the Facebook today, as I do with some regularity, to find that its managers have redesigned the home page to display a social play-by-play for all of my friends, like this:

This hasn’t been a popular change, as you can see from at least one of those group names, but I’m for it.

For one thing, none of this information was hidden before, but users had to cycle though all their friends’ profiles to find it. Now it’s easier to keep up with people (or stalk them — tomato/tomato). This kind of efficiency is always good.

For another thing, it’s always helpful to remind people that nothing on the internet is secret. My attempt to redact the names in the image above notwithstanding, people who expect privacy on even a password-protected site like Facebook are deluding themselves (as Wonkette has heartlessly, irresponsibly and repeatedly proven).

My 2006 (first-ever) NFL fantasy team roster, listed in the order I drafted them (overall pick order in parentheses):

1. (1) Larry Johnson, RB - Kansas City
2. (20) Carson Palmer, QB - Cincinnati
3. (21) Willie Parker, RB - Pittsburgh
4. (40) Darrell Jackson, WR - Seattle
5. (41) Donald Driver, WR - Green Bay
6. (60) Eddie Kennison, WR - Kansas City
7. (61) Chicago Bears DEF
8. (80) Nate Burleson, WR - Seattle
9. (81) Deuce McAllister, RB - New Orleans
10. (100) Ben Watson, TE - New England
11. (101) Ben Roethlisberger, QB - Pittsburgh
12. (120) Jeff Reed, K - Pittsburgh
13. (121) Kevan Barlow, RB - New York Jets
14. (140) Wali Lundy, RB - Houston
15. (141) Ben Troupe, TE - Tennessee

Champions for sure!

Addendum (Sept. 7) — In a final bit of preseason maneuvering, I dropped Barlow and Troupe to pick up WR Doug Gabriel, who was recently traded to the Patriots, and rookie TE Vernon Davis, who was drafted by San Francisco this spring with the sixth-overall pick.

Look at me! I have colors and legible text!

Thanks to good friend and talented musician Allan Chappelear for the upgrade.

One of these days I’ll have some content to justify the new look. For now, all I have for you is a thought on media consumption and the consumer’s state of mind.

Do you ever come across news on the Information Superhighway that seems too strange to be real anywhere other than your own sleep-deprived or intoxicated universe? No? Well I do.

(This also works with odd-hour news broadcasts — I have been informed by my television whilst half-asleep of more unthinkable tragedies and Important Official Announcements than I care to enumerate. Often this means hearing the implausible news when I wake up, then being shocked when I get to work that it’s still true.)

Anyway, I saw a story on the internet this morning that seemed to fit this mold. Sort of. Nothing had blown up or anything, but I was very tired and it didn’t seem real. This being America, I shouldn’t have been so surprised to see that the story was still there when I woke up from a nap several hours later, but I was. Maybe it’s just me, but this seems like something that shouldn’t happen in a sane world:

Tomkitten’s “first poop” goes on display in New York

But there it is.

Thanks again to Allan for making all of this possible. Technology!

The Pittsburgh Pirates are enjoying a three-game winning streak, but unless they win tonight and every other night for the rest of the season, they’ll finish under .500 for the year.

The last time they had a winning season, I was nine years old.

I will turn 24 next month.