Infinitive Splitter

The air is cool enough in the mornings now that I can finally resume wearing sweaters over my too-small, collared shirts. To kick off the season today, I chose my favorite: a thin, Navy V-neck over a blue-and-white striped shirt.

It’s Wednesday, so I haven’t shaved in about a week, which in the summer makes me look like your standard Lazy Liberal Arts Major. With the sweater, I might very well be a graduate student.

On my way out of the building for lunch this afternoon, the security guard caught my attention and asked, “Hey man, you eat tofu?” He and his associate were dubious of a cube-shaped food item at the bottom of a container of soup; I examined the substance for them and confirmed that it was edible.

Before I got to the local sandwich shop — at which, despite my appearance, I did not order anything containing tofu — I dropped by a Borders bookstore, where a patron asked if I worked there. (I don’t think I’m alone in considering this kind of confusion among the higher forms of flattery.)

These things never happen to me in the summer; I look smarter when the days get shorter.