Infinitive Splitter

In a debate, one person makes a point or asks a question, a second person responds, and then the first person responds to that. If the allotted time hasn’t expired after this back-and-forth, the participants might engage each other on a second point, and then a third. From what I understand of the rules, this won’t be anything like that.

Okay, let’s get to it.

8:22 - Introduction written. Time for a beer. Should I order pizza?

8:37 - Pizza decision time is running out. Definitely beer though. Whoa, it’s been 15 minutes since I decided to get a beer, but I haven’t gotten one yet.

8:42 - On C-SPAN, Frank Fahrenkopf, the co-chairman of the Commission on Presidential Debates, is prepping the audience. Much more enlightening than anything Keith Olbermann is saying on MSNBC.

8:53 - CNN’s pre-debate nonsense has 13 talking heads in the same room, in the same camera shot, at the same time.

8:54 - Back to C-SPAN. Light coughing in the audience.

8:56 - No pizza, I guess. Beer in one hand, cup of soup in the other, laptop in the other.

9:03 - Vice Principal Strickland gets the first question.

9:11 - McCain’s physical limitations are understandable, but he really doesn’t look like a natural walker-around.

9:15 - How many of the questioners’ names will McCain say in a single answer? He got both in the second question. Over/under is four.

9:23 - Wait, that’s crazy. Two is probably it.

9:28 - McCain is willing to ask Americans to sacrifice by giving up Defense contracts for fat cats. Also: earmarks!

9:33 - Obama is willing to ask Americans to sacrifice by turning off the lights at home and buying a Prius.

9:35 - McCain says that trying to keep track of Obama’s tax plans is like trying to nail Jell-O to the wall. Jokes fall flat in a room where the audience is forbidden from laughing.

9:45 - A correspondent writes: “I hate the way he keeps saying ‘my friends’ — it’s like getting forcibly hugged by the office jerkwad.”

9:48 - Tom Brokaw hates it when the candidates take too much time, but he loves taking time after every question to point out that they’re taking too much time. McCain eagerly points out that he stayed within his allotted time. Substance!

9:52 - McCain says putting health records online will “reduce medical ‘errors,’ as they call them.” What else would they call them?

9:57 - Should probably have read up on this before, but what does Obama mean when he says his plan includes a “50 percent tax credit” for businesses to pay for health care?

10:02 - Obama sets up a response on the war that sounds like it might get into a rhythm anchored by “I don’t understand…,” but then he goes a different way. Good stop.

10:08 - Question from an audience member about whether the U.S. should go after terrorist groups in Pakistan. What’s the point of letting undecided Joe Six-Packs in Tennessee ask their own questions if they’re the same ones Tom Brokaw would have asked?

10:11 - McCain, in his last response, said Ronald Reagan was his hero. In this response, he says it’s Theodore Roosevelt.

10:16 - Again with McCain’s secret plan to get Osama bin Laden. If you know how, tell George Bush! We all forget from time to time, but he is president right now!

10:25 - Brokaw says there are two questions left, so I’ll start wrapping up now. McCain does seem stronger in this format than in others, and Obama’s halting style doesn’t help him. But there weren’t any fundamental changes tonight: no devastating gaffes, no knockout blows. I might be wrong, since I’ve been typing this nonsense the whole time.

10:30 - This is why I’ve never live-blogged before. Goodnight!