Infinitive Splitter

I’ve noticed that “God” has leased some space on Washington metrobuses to run an ad that says, “Why believe? Because I created you and I love you, for goodness’ sake.” Humanist associations in the United States and Britain have been running ads using similar words for a few months (“Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness’ sake”), and God’s ads are apparently a response to them.

God’s argument is question-begging nonsense, since you’d have to believe in him to accept that he created or loved anything. But I’m more interested in the meaning of his comma. Let’s look at the statement again:

Why believe? Because I created you and I love you, for goodness’ sake.

If I understand God’s intent, the comma sets “for goodness’ sake” apart as an interjection to express his exasperation at having to explain himself to us for the thousandth time. Who can blame him? He’s been working on this for millennia, and he’s still going around asserting his existence to transit riders and bystanders in major cities.

There’s a second possibility. Maybe “for goodness’ sake” is his reason for creating and loving. If that’s the case, God’s ad contradicts itself. Someone who did something solely for the sake of goodness would be unlikely to purchase mass-visibility advertisements to claim credit.

Either way, his decision to spend money on ads just to promote himself is kind of tacky. Campaign season is over.

It’s fashionable these days to ridicule the ShamWow guy or scoff at the Snuggie. We roll our eyes at ads for payday lenders and companies offering cash for “broken or unwanted” precious metals. But where is the outcry against law firms that help apparently successful people avoid paying taxes they owe?

Are there legitimate circumstances that leave people unexpectedly so massively in debt to the government? Are there situations where people find themselves owing half a million dollars to the public treasury without actually accumulating the income being taxed?

I don’t want to look like a jerk here, so please let me know if I’m forgetting some reasonable explanation for this kind of problem. Until then, these ads are going to keep grinding my gears.